Baby Withdrawal

What is it about this time of day that I start getting melancholy? Then I get irritable because I'm melancholy. Then I get tired because I'm just sick of being melancholy and irritable.

I'm going to call it baby withdrawal. The act of leaving one's newborn child with someone else appears to be the cause of this phenomenon.

Obviously I'm back to work after 8 weeks of maternity leave. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE my job! The people have become like a second family to me and I make decent money and have awesome insurance. It's just that I don't feel like I'm where I should be when I'm at work during the day. It's like the other piece of my heart is calling out to me, telling me that I need to come and collect it so that I feel whole again. Then I get home and have a few short hours before it's time to get my little one bathed and into bed (yeah...I'm trying to create a little bedtime routine for Rya - Baby Einstein Lullaby Classics included).

Now - most would think that this is just the normal separation anxiety that any new mother would feel upon returning to work. Then I guess you could call me abnormal (you can keep the sarcastic replies to this statement to yourself thank you!) because it feels so much more intense then just simple separation anxiety. Maybe I just need to accept the fact that I will never be a millionaire (no matter how many PowerBall tickets Roy buys) and that I will forever be part of the average working household (no matter how many times I try to come up with some ridiculous scheme that would allow me to stay at home with Rya - Paco pointed out that the tanning salon owner idea was a little unrealistic - BUMMER!).

WARNING: FEMINIST MOVEMENT BASH COMING IN 3...2...1...

I mean seriously - why did some chick have to go and fuck it up for the rest of us women who would be perfectly content to stay at home and raise our children and take care of our families? Ok...yeah, so we get to vote and we get supposed equal workplace rights. Oh...the freedom to speak our minds is a good thing too I suppose, otherwise I wouldn't even be voicing these thoughts right now...but still! Big deal! I want the right to sit on my fat ass and play on the internet all day if I so choose. Hmm...actually that wouldn't really help that fat ass problem now would it? Well, I could try and promise to go for walks and maybe meet up with other mother's in the area - there - that's better! And I suppose I could get used to having dinner ready when the husband got home from his hard day. See - I'm willing to make concessions! Sometimes I wish I could just have a conversation with the person who started all of this and tell them how their actions have changed society and how most children are being raised by people other than their parents. I'm still a firm believer that children are the way they are today from lack of parental guidance. Not necessarily neglect, but simple lack of time due to busy work schedules and daily life. Ok, Ok...enough before my head explodes.

So that leaves me here - typing this blog that people will probably read and assume that I'm being overly dramatic. Well :P to you (that's me sticking out my tongue in case you didn't get it). I'm entitled to my feelings - no matter how irrational they may be.

See...there I go. The irritability is setting in again. TO BE CONTINUED...